The Man I can’t Help but Melt For

 The Man I can’t Help but Melt For

I saw this sign and thought, that is my husband. He had a confidence and calmness around him when we were first dating that was so different than any other young men around at that time. I am so glad I knew him before college and I am sure other women were looking at him.

There is something about my husband’s persona that I find incredibly attractive.

I have tried to explain it before, but I’m not sure I ever quite find the right words. It isn't simply that he is dominant. It is the way he is dominant.

His dominance oozes through nearly every interaction we have, but it is a calm, loving kind of dominance. There is no need for him to announce it. He doesn't have to tell everyone—or even me—that he is the man in charge. Somehow, I just know.

And if you know, you know.

I love a dominant form of PDA. Not the kind that makes a spectacle of us, but the little things that communicate something between the two of us. Things that other people might barely notice.

The way he walks, for example.

He has this confident walk that reminds me of a cowboy who knows exactly where he is going. There is something steady and self-assured about the way he carries himself. He doesn't strut. He doesn't need to. He simply has that presence about him.

And then there are the little things he does with me.

Something as simple as him kissing me on the forehead can make me melt. It is such a tender gesture, but coming from him, there is something else underneath it. It feels protective. Loving. Certain.

Then he'll call me kiddo, little lady, or missy, and somehow those simple little names can still make me weak in the knees.

Maybe it's his voice. He does have a smooth (like a good cup of coffee) deep voice. 

Maybe it's the way he says them.

Maybe it's everything behind the words.

There is also something about the way he puts his arm around me and pulls me close, with his hand settling across the small of my back. There is a possessiveness to that embrace that I find incredibly comforting. It feels like a quiet, unmistakable you're with me.

I love that.

Sometimes he'll gently move my head to the side so he can kiss my neck. Again, it isn't some dramatic gesture. It's just him being him. But I feel that little rush every time.

And his eyes...

Oh, his eyes.

There are times when he looks at me and I know exactly what he wants without him saying a word. Sometimes his eyes seem to command me to look back at him, and when I do, there is something about that deep eye contact that makes me feel completely seen.

Then there are the playful moments.

He can walk past me in the kitchen and give me a quick smack over my jeans before continuing on as if nothing happened.

Or he'll come home after a long day, pull me close into a hug, and his hand will find my bottom for a firm squeeze.

Those little gestures probably wouldn't mean much to someone who doesn't understand our relationship.

To me, they say so much.

They say, I'm here.

They say, You're mine.

They say, I still see you.

And sometimes they simply say, I love you.

I think that's what people might misunderstand about dominance. At least the kind I experience with my husband. For me, it isn't always about what he says or what he does. So much of it is in his body language, his inflection, his confidence, and the way he carries himself.

It is in the way he stands beside me.

The way he looks at me.

The way he reaches for me.

The way he naturally takes the lead without making a production out of it.

It is a quiet certainty.

A calm strength.

A loving dominance.

And after all these years, I still find myself noticing it.

• I still get that little flutter when he gives me that look.

• I still melt when he kisses my forehead.

• I still love hearing those silly little names.

• I still love feeling his arm around my back.

And I still feel incredibly lucky when I look at this man and realize that he is my husband.

Maybe that's the hardest part to explain.

I'm not attracted only to what he looks like.

I'm attracted to who he is.

His confidence. His steadiness. His masculinity. His quiet authority. His tenderness. His strength. And the way all of those things come together when he is with me.

For me, that's what makes his dominance so attractive.

It isn't something he puts on.

It's simply part of him.

And somehow, after all these years, I still find myself thinking...

How did I get so lucky?

So ladies, what do you find attractive in your man?

If you don’t have a man, what do you find attractive in men?