How Would Hubby Handle That Today?

 How Would Hubby Handle That Today?

A comment from "Annee" on one of my posts got me thinking.

The post she was responding to was about a rather embarrassing evening early in our relationship when I had a complete meltdown over something as simple as where we were going to eat. 

If you haven't read it, you can find the whole story here:

Where Do You Want to Eat?

Looking back at that evening now, I honestly have to blush a little. I behaved like a little child. What makes me cringe even more is thinking about what my husband put up with that evening before it eventually ended with me being spanked.

Annee wrote:

“You were both so young! An argument that escalates over something trivial reflects ‘toddler’ dynamics. Might I suggest that now that same situation would be handled by your hubby making scrambled eggs and lovingly sending you to bed?”

That made me laugh—and then it made me think.

How would hubby handle that today?

Wow. What a difference twenty-two years can make!

First, there is maturity. I rarely have a meltdown like that anymore. I have learned how to communicate better, how to recognize when I'm getting frustrated, and, hopefully, how to act like the grown woman I actually am.

And hubby has matured too. Twenty-two years of marriage, raising children, careers, responsibilities, successes, failures, and everything else life has thrown at us has changed both of us.

So if I somehow managed to have a repeat performance today, I don't think it would play out exactly the way it did back then.

If the kids were home, I suspect hubby's first move would be to send me to the bathroom to sit on the toilet for a while. Basically, a little timeout. Not because he thinks I'm literally a toddler, but because sometimes I need to be removed from the situation long enough to stop being stubborn and get my attitude under control.

If that didn't work and I was still in a funk, I can imagine him simply ordering food for the family to pick up and sending my oldest daughter to get the food and take her sister along with her. That would give hubby and me some time to talk privately.

And then I'd have a few choices.

I could eat what everyone else was eating.

Or, if I was determined to continue being difficult about food, hubby could have me drink a protein shake instead. I'm underweight and really can't afford to lose any more weight—that's a whole other story—but he certainly isn't going to let me simply go without eating because I'm having an attitude.

And then?

I might find myself being sent off to bed.

Yes, I can practically hear some of you laughing at the thought of a grown woman being sent to bed like a little girl who has lost her dinner privileges.

And honestly, I probably would be a little embarrassed by it.

But that's where the difference between then and now comes in. It wouldn't be about the food. The food would just be the trigger. The real issue would be my attitude and how I was handling myself.

I can even picture what would happen when the girls came home. Hubby might take a picture of the food and ask me one more time if I'm sure I don't want to eat.

Knowing him, it would probably be said very calmly.

And knowing me, I'd probably be sitting there realizing that I had somehow turned a simple question about dinner into a much bigger issue than it ever needed to be.

Of course, that probably wouldn't be the end of the matter.

Whatever happened that evening would likely be discussed the following weekend when the girls weren't home. By then, there would be time to talk about what happened, why I reacted the way I did, and what I could have done differently.

And that is another thing that has changed.

When we were young, we were still learning each other. We were learning how to argue, how to communicate, how to handle frustration, and how to be married.

Twenty-two years later, we know each other pretty well.

I know what makes hubby tick, and he knows me—sometimes probably better than I know myself. We have had a lot of practice at this marriage thing.

So Annee's comment really did make me stop and think.

Would hubby make scrambled eggs and lovingly send me to bed?

Maybe.

Would he still deal with the attitude if I was acting like a toddler?

Absolutely.

But I think the bigger difference is that today we have more tools. We have more maturity. We have more experience. And we have twenty-two years of learning how to navigate life together.

I certainly hope I would never repeat that particular dinner meltdown.

But if I did?

Well... I have a pretty good idea how that evening would end.

And I suspect I'd be blushing about it just as much twenty-two years from now.