The Red, White, and Blue of Marriage

 The Red, White, and Blue of Marriage

Happy Fourth of July!

As I sit here thinking about Independence Day, I'm reminded of all the red, white, and blue that surrounds us this time of year. Flags wave from front porches, children run around with sparklers, families gather for cookouts, and when evening comes, we all look toward the sky waiting for the fireworks.

This year I found myself thinking about those three colors a little differently—not just as the colors of our nation's flag, but as colors that remind me of my marriage.

Red reminds me of love and sacrifice.

Love isn't simply a feeling. If I've learned anything after more than twenty years of marriage, it's that love is demonstrated through everyday choices. It's choosing patience when I'm tired. It's saying "I'm sorry" when my pride wants to dig in. It's making dinner after a long day of teaching. It's watching my husband care for our home and family without expecting recognition.

My husband has sacrificed for our family in so many ways over the years. His time in the Navy meant deployments and months apart. Those years weren't easy for either of us, but they taught us that love often asks us to put someone else's needs ahead of our own.

I've learned that I have sacrifices to make too. Sometimes that means giving up the need to have the last word. Sometimes it means choosing humility over being right. Those aren't always easy choices, but they strengthen our marriage.

White reminds me of grace and forgiveness.

Neither one of us is perfect.

I'm certainly not.

There are days when I speak before I think. Days when stress gets the better of me. Days when I fall short of the wife I want to be.

Thankfully, our marriage has never been about expecting perfection. It's about extending grace.

One of the things I appreciate about our Domestic Discipline relationship is that problems don't linger for days or weeks. We address them, learn from them, forgive one another, and move forward together. Once an issue has been dealt with, it stays in the past where it belongs.

That doesn't mean difficult conversations disappear. It simply means forgiveness is intentional. We choose not to carry yesterday's mistakes into tomorrow.

I think every marriage could use a little more white.

Blue reminds me of faithfulness and trust.

Trust isn't built in grand gestures. It's built in ordinary moments repeated over and over again.

It's knowing my husband will do what he says he'll do.

It's knowing he'll lead our family with wisdom and love.

It's knowing that even when we disagree, we're on the same team.

Faithfulness is more than remaining married. It's remaining committed—to our vows, to our friendship, to growing together, and to putting God at the center of our relationship.

Over the years, trust has become one of the greatest blessings in our marriage. I know my husband wants what is best for me, and I hope he knows I want the same for him.

When I think about those three colors together, I realize they're all connected.

Love without forgiveness eventually grows weary.

Forgiveness without trust becomes difficult.

Trust without love feels empty.

Together they create something beautiful.

As our family celebrates the Fourth of July, I'm grateful for the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. I'm also grateful for the home we've built together over the past two decades—a home where love, grace, and trust continue to grow.

I know many of you who read my blog come from different backgrounds and have different kinds of marriages. Whether you practice Domestic Discipline or simply enjoy reading about our journey, I hope today gives you an opportunity to appreciate the people you love.

May your Fourth of July be filled with family, laughter, good food, and maybe a few spectacular fireworks.

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

P.S. Before anyone leaves a comment asking... no, I didn't forget that red can represent something else in my marriage. 😊

Yes, red also happens to be the color of my bottom after I've been over my husband's knee. I suppose that comes with writing a spanking blog! I couldn't very well let a post about the color red go by without acknowledging the obvious.

Thankfully, those moments are always followed by forgiveness, a hug, and moving forward together—which brings us right back to the white and blue.