Replying in Anonymous Mode
Replying in Anonymous Mode
One of the greatest blessings of writing this blog has been hearing from so many of you. Every comment, every email, and every story reminds me that I'm not walking this path alone. Even though many of us keep this part of our lives private, we've found a little community where we can encourage one another.
I completely understand the need for privacy. Many of us have careers, families, church communities, and friends who would never understand our lifestyle. Sharing even a small piece of your experience can feel risky.
That's why I want to encourage anyone who writes to me to consider signing your messages with a nickname or pseudonym.
It doesn't have to be your real name. It can be anything you like. Maybe it's something meaningful to you or just something fun that makes you smile. The important thing is that it gives us both a way to recognize each other over time.
When I see a message from "Professional Woman," I remember previous conversations we've shared. When "Lady in Red" writes, I know I've heard from a familiar friend. The same goes for Seatscorcher, Sophia, Linda, Ross, Sue, Notsotrad, and Katie. Those names have become part of this little corner of the internet, and I always enjoy seeing them pop up in my inbox or comments.
Having a nickname makes it easier for me to reply personally and continue conversations instead of feeling like I'm writing back into the unknown. It helps build relationships while still protecting the privacy that so many of us value.
If you've never commented before because you didn't want to reveal your identity, I hope you'll consider choosing a nickname and joining in. You can remain completely anonymous while still becoming part of this wonderful community.
Most of us spend so much of our daily lives feeling like we're the only ones living this way. Then someone shares a story, asks a question, or offers encouragement, and suddenly we're reminded that there are others out there who understand.
I want to end by saying thank you.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write. Thank you for trusting me with your stories, your questions, your struggles, and your victories. Thank you for offering encouragement to me and to one another. Your messages help me feel connected to people who share similar interests and experiences, and that connection means more than you know.
Whether you've written once or a dozen times, whether you sign your name or choose a creative nickname, I'm grateful you're here.
I look forward to hearing from many more of you—and maybe meeting a few new anonymous friends along the way.
I am your friend and I am a huge believer in CDD & DD.
ReplyDeleteHey Friend,
DeleteGlad you are a huge believer of CDD & DD.
So Question: is that your Identification name? "Friend"?
- Lisa
The Single Guy is username
DeleteThe single guy -
ReplyDeleteHow can a man maintain and manage his house properly when everything and his wife is chaotic and out of control?
People need people !
Everyone needs accountability !
Discipline is not punishment !
CDD is a beautiful foundation for Courtship and marriage !
Hey Single Guy,
DeleteI don't think I have ever been chaotic and out of control. But I do need guidance. And I agree on a couple of things... 1. Everyone needs accountability (including the husband) 2. Discipline is not punishment. (No one says they have "Self Punishment" they say that they have "Self Discipline")
I think CDD or DD is beautiful foundation for those who need it. Not for all.
- Lisa
Lisa, I’m so glad to have come across your blog. I love that you reply to all the comments as it really does build this little community.
DeleteHii Lisa, I tried to send to you an email, but I think that maybe you didn't receive that? I'd love to know you more and talk about cdd. My email is sarah_ellen1999@hotmail.com in case you wanna check up what happened.
ReplyDeleteGot it and replied. Thank you for replying me.
DeleteJoanne, that's me.
ReplyDeleteI'm 31 and i own a bunch of second hand car dealerships, i have a degree in business management, getting married September to a very traditional man who told me that he believes in CDD. He's an accountant and makes much less money than me. I have no student debt and own my own house and business outright, i have a substantial net worth, but I'm not traditionally pretty and I'm about 50 pounds overweight. He says since he's the man i should give him full access and let him run the finances. He isn't poor by any means, just way lower on the scale than me. He is 40 and have 4 kids under 10, he doesn't own any property, his wife passed on last year March. He wants me to be the mother of them, stay home and let him run my business. He will give me an allowance, because money are the root of all evil for women and gives them a sense of superiority and that should be avoided, i must homeschool and have more babies , i really want a child of my own. Oh I inherited most of my assets. The question is, is it a good idea to give him control in so many ways? As a business owner and independent woman who build more than him although I'm younger i don't want to be in a CDD mairage, i earned an build most of my wealth myself and i want a prenuptial, but he got furious when i only
mentioned it once, i thought he's going to leave me, he yelled that I'm a Delilah and that I'm greedy and should be thankful that he wants to marry a woman like me that's not pure, but i love him so much. I thought of putting my assets in a trust without telling him. Making it so he can't touch it. Making my cousin the trustee. She's my accountant. He calls her the feminatsi. He directed me to Aron's site and that's where i found you. He agrees with all the men there, even the harsh ones. I'm not a virgin and he forgave me for my indiscretions , but he says i can't refuse anal sex, anal punishment and that marrital rape doesn't exist. I think i can do it, you know be good and skip the beatings, but the way i read here and there, it doesn't really matter, he will find a reason. Is that true? Do they find a reason to spank you? Is it possible to avoid punishment altogether?Is he a red flag? I'm so confused, i love him so much it hurts.
RED FLAG!!! x 1,000,000. Do not go with someone who desires what you do not. I desire what I have. I know several relationships where either gender is in charge. But the key is they work well together. Also Why do you want to marry this guy? A marriage makes each other better not a tool for suppression. BTW if it feels like a red flag it is.
DeleteI typed into google what makes a good DD relationship... This is the AI portion. I think it is pretty good.
DeleteDomestic discipline (DD) relies on absolute consent, crystal-clear rule structures, and deep mutual trust. While some couples view the power exchange and behavioral correction as effective, experts warn that it requires strict safety boundaries to avoid harmful or abusive power imbalances. The success of a domestic discipline relationship hinges entirely on the following core dynamics:
Unwavering Consent & Communication: Both partners must negotiate rules, expectations, and disciplinary methods before implementation. Constant, open communication is required to ensure boundaries are respected.
Clearly Defined Boundaries: Successful DD relies on structure rather than arbitrary punishment. Couples usually establish concrete rules regarding chores, communication, and conflict resolution, alongside specific consequences for infractions.
The Balance of Love and Authority: Practitioners emphasize that correction must be rooted in care, not anger or humiliation. The goal is to correct behavior and reinforce relational stability, not to instill fear.
Distinction from Abuse: Experts at Very well Mind caution that any disciplinary dynamic that causes injury, breeds fear, or removes a partner's ability to say "no" crosses into abuse.
True DD requires ongoing, enthusiastic consent from both sides.
Potential for escalation: Critics on Reddit and other forums suggest DD can easily become a dictatorship if the dominant partner uses it to control the submissive partner's independence.
DeleteYou do not desire to be in ! CDD. He would not know how to handle managing all that you have listed. Run girl run. ! He is not for you
DeleteOh my Joanne, my heart hurts for you. First, I think you know the answer to your question already which is why you’re asking it. Second, the fact that you said he’s 40 and doesn’t own property makes me wonder if he is really all that great at money management. Third, you said he got really angry with you when discussing a prenup and that is very concerning. Someone who is truly putting you first would at the very least be willing to have a rational conversation about that and protecting what you’ve built up to this point. I also wonder if you’ve stopped to ask yourself what you want? This dynamic is based on trust; that you both are continuously seeking to outserve each other. Is he really putting you first? I hope you consider at the very least pushing the wedding out a year to make sure you really can live with all that. Hugs!!
DeleteJoanne There is a good man out there who will love you. Hold out for him. This man is abusive.He is not asking what you want or what makes you happy. Hes trying to take your money, abuse and humiliate you and push his kids on you. It also shows you he doesnt even care about hischildten and care about their grieving process. Hes not a goodman.
Deletethank you for replying exactly how I feel but can I ask the two people who responded as Anonymous please leave some sort of nickname or something so I can reply. That was the point of the blog post
DeleteSorry Im the comment above. Ill go by Zil
DeleteOh I forgot to add and correct me if Im wrong Lisa. I think men who want this lifestyle want to be providers. They want to make life easier for their wife and want them to have security. Bad ones take all the money. As a man he should see himself as a provider. Not try to steal from you and take what youve built. Someone who lives this lifestyle please weigh in. Zil
DeleteDear Joanne, from one professional
Deletewoman to another, please run from this so called man!! He’s not worthy of you to even shed one tear! Life with him would be a living hell!! It appears he wants control and then will take off on you. Pray and God bless!!.. I’ll be praying for you too!!
Professional woman again. Joanne, I couldn’t sleep well last night. Not because I got a well-deserved spanking (which I freely consented to.. and something you said you don’t want!) but because of your situation. Please listen to what Lisa and others said and truly think about it. Also, consider building your self esteem. You’re a very successful woman. Speak with your doctor, dietician and or personal trainer to loose weight. Perhaps change your look by a different hair design or color. Feel good about yourself. Love thyself!! BTW, every woman is pretty!! Created by God. And God is beautiful. Do not let him control you in such a bad way. Better off looking for a man that is deserving of the lovely you!!! Perhaps reach out to Lisa via her email to discuss further. Also, consider reaching out to your cousin too or others who you trust. God Bless. I’ll be praying for you!!
DeleteJoanne, this is Linda, a friend of Lisa’s on the blog. She knows I’m skeptical of DD , but I have nothing but respect for her and her chosen way of life. She has taught me much. Please listen to her and the other fine women who have written here. Your relationship does not sound healthy. Please reconsider and keep yourself safe.
Delete