Finding Privacy and Connection After Kids

-

Before we had children, marriage felt wonderfully simple. We could talk, laugh, and be as close as we wanted at any hour of the day without interruption. We didn’t have to plan or whisper, and there was a sweet freedom in knowing that our home was just ours — quiet, private, and peaceful. This included when I needed correction. If hubby felt I needed correction, the lecture and bottom warming would happen right away. 

But as soon as our first little one began walking, everything changed. Suddenly, our home was full of tiny footsteps, curious eyes, and surprise visits when we least expected them. We had to learn how to balance being affectionate and handling my misbehaviors with being appropriate and private. It wasn’t easy at first — we both missed the ease of our early years, but we knew this new season required wisdom and care.

For a while, we had to get creative. After the kids were in bed, the lectures and discipline would take place during evening walks on our property, in the barn, or very quietly in our bedroom before collapsing from exhaustion. It was a season of adjustments — of learning to put our relationship first to keep our spark alive while honoring the boundaries that come with parenthood.

By the time our third child was toddling around, we realized we needed something more consistent. My mom graciously began watching the kids on Friday nights for a sleepover, giving us the gift of time to ourselves. Mom never knew what we did, just that we needed our time together. That weekly rhythm quickly became sacred. We could handle any of my shortcomings without being interrupted, without guilt, and reconnect in a deeper way.

Of course when my correction was not handled in a timely manner we had to start the “Correction Log”. Fridays after work we review the log before I took a trip over his knee. If there was nothing to handle we did not waste that precious time and my bottom still got warmed with a lighter maintenance spanking. If my misdoings were minor in nature the light spanking came with a loving lecture about our roles and responsibilities. If it was a serious offense, then I was going to be one sorry young lady. 

Those Fridays became our reset — a chance to breathe, laugh, and remember who we are as husband and wife, not just mom and dad. It wasn’t about escaping our children; it was about strengthening the bond that holds our family together. Our kids came home happy from Grandma’s, and we were refreshed and ready to pour into them again.

Now that our children are older, I can see how vital that time was. Taking intentional moments to invest in our marriage helped us grow closer instead of drifting apart. It reminded us that marriage is the foundation of family, and that nurturing it blesses everyone under our roof.

Parenthood changes everything, but love can deepen and mature in beautiful ways through each new stage. Finding privacy, making time, and honoring your marriage — those are the quiet, steady things that keep love strong for a lifetime.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

About My Other Blog - Lisa’s Spanking Journal

-
Image
Some of you have noticed that I often write about discipline, growth, and accountability in marriage. These are deeply personal themes for me — ones that have shaped my journey as a wife, mother, and woman of faith. Over the years, I’ve learned that being open about the way we find balance and strength in our relationships can encourage others who are on their own unique paths. This blog will continue to focus on reflections — the “why” behind what we do. It’s a space for heart and spirit, for lessons learned and the peace that comes from order and trust. I also keep another journal called “ Lisa’s Spanking Journa l ” , where I write in a more personal and detailed account of what happens. That space is more private — it’s where I record the detailed side of things, the moments of growth and discipline that are too intimate for this public space.   This will require you to "Sign in" and acknowledge that there is " Sensitive Content Warning ." (seen below) If you’...
Read more

Learning Grace and Accountability in Marriage

-
Image
(sorry for posting this late- life was a bit busy. My goal is to post on Wednesday's and Sunday's) When I think back to the early days of our marriage, one memory always stands out — not because it was easy or beautiful, but because it was a turning point for me. It happened the day after our wedding, more than twenty-two years ago. I had a complete meltdown over a wedding gift that wasn’t what I expected. Looking back, I can see how silly it was, but at the time, I let my emotions take over. I was tired, overwhelmed, and still adjusting to the huge change of becoming a wife. Instead of showing gratitude and grace, I acted out like a frustrated little girl. My husband, new to marriage but already a steady and patient man, tried twice to calm me down and remind me to take a breath. I remember the calm in his voice contrasted with the chaos in mine. When I ignored his warnings and kept pushing, I could see the disappointment in his eyes — not anger, but concern. It wasn’t about t...
Read more

Can anyone Tell?

-
Image
After a Private Moment of Correction There’s always a certain quiet that follows a private moment of correction between my husband and me. It’s not just the silence in the room, but the emotional stillness that lingers afterward. When we step back into the world—out to dinner, church, or the grocery store—I often carry that sense of humility and tenderness with me. It’s not visible to anyone else, but I can feel it with every careful movement, every reminder of the closeness we shared. Sometimes I catch myself being overly aware of my own body language. When I sit down, I do so gently, easing into the seat without drawing attention, but inside my thoughts race. Can anyone tell? Of course they can’t—but my mind plays tricks, making me think the whole world can see the private lesson written across my expression. There’s a curious mix of embarrassment and pride that comes with that feeling. Embarrassment, because I imagine others might somehow sense my discomfort. Pride, because I know w...
Read more