Posts

Domestic Discipline Before “I Do”

-
Image
 Domestic Discipline Before “I Do” When people hear that my husband and I practice domestic discipline in our marriage, they often assume it began after the wedding. The truth is, the foundation was laid much earlier—during our courting years in college—long before we ever shared a home or even held hands without intention. While we were dating, my husband was very clear about his convictions. We did not live together. We did not sleep together. I was a virgin when we married, and our relationship was built deliberately, with boundaries that honored God and protected both of us. Because of that, he also believed that spanking had no place in our relationship before marriage. Even though I was already drawn to structure, leadership, and accountability, he felt physical discipline was reserved for the covenant of marriage. That did not mean, however, that there was no discipline at all. During our college years, when I misbehaved—missed curfew, spoke disrespectfully, procrastinated o...
12 comments
Read more
-
Image
 Spanking During The Holidays: A Reflection The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—joy, gratitude, expectations, and especially stress. As much as I love the lights, the music, and the traditions we’ve built, December can feel like a marathon with no water stations. Somewhere between hosting, shopping, church commitments, family dynamics, and the pressure to make it all “special,” my nervous system starts humming a little too loudly. Over the years, I’ve learned that pretending I can power through that stress doesn’t serve anyone—least of all our marriage. Spanking during the holidays has become one of the ways we intentionally slow things down and reset. For us, it isn’t about punishment in a dramatic sense; it’s about stress relief and grounding. When my emotions are running high, I tend to live in my head. A spanking brings me back into my body and into the present moment. It draws a clear line between the chaos outside and the quiet, intentional space we create togeth...
6 comments
Read more

The Peace of Clear Roles in Marriage

-
Image
 The Peace of Clear Roles in Marriage For most of my early adult life, the idea of “roles” in marriage felt old-fashioned or even restrictive. I thought equality meant sameness, and sameness meant safety. But when we settled into our marriage, I realized that trying to split everything evenly often created confusion instead of clarity. We both expected the other to read minds, anticipate needs, and take initiative at the same time. It was exhausting. When we finally embraced clear roles—him as the leader of our home and me as the heart of it—I discovered something I never expected: peace. Clear roles didn’t make me feel small; they made me feel supported. When I knew where I stood and what was asked of me, I stopped carrying the emotional burden of trying to do everything. I didn’t have to be hyper-independent or constantly worried about whether I was “pulling my weight.” I could lean into my strengths—nurturing, organizing, caring—and allow him to lean into his—protecting, guiding...
6 comments
Read more

Learning to Receive Correction Without Shame

-
Image
 Learning to Receive Correction Without Shame If I’m honest, learning to receive correction was one of the hardest parts of embracing domestic discipline. Not because my husband was ever overly harsh—he never has been—but because I carried old habits of shame from before our marriage. Society teaches to deny, to never admit, to become combative and win at any cost. Society also taught me that mistakes were evidence of failure, something to hide quickly before anyone noticed. So when our marriage introduced accountability as something loving and intentional, it took time for my heart to catch up. I had to unlearn the idea that being corrected meant something was wrong with me. In the early days, whenever my husband addressed an issue or guided me back on track, I felt embarrassed or even combative. Even when he was gentle, I sometimes heard his steady tone through a filter of insecurity. I worried I was disappointing him or proving I wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t the discipline itse...
6 comments
Read more

How Domestic Discipline Deepened Our Communication

-
Image
 How Domestic Discipline Deepened Our Communication Despite talking for days about how we wanted our marriage to be like. Goals, roles, and responsibilities kept coming to the front. We were young and I was so excited to follow him and have someone in charge but with us being young we did not know exactly how to accomplish that. I would say daddy had it down pat and I had missed his leadership for the past 2 years while I was in college.  As I matured and grew it took about 3 years for us to really get it. Let me correct that. It took me 3 years to learn to let my husband lead, for me to follow and for God to guide us both.  Those first three years of our marriage communication felt like guessing. I spoke in hints and half-truths, hoping he would understand what I meant without me actually saying it. He tried to read between the lines, not wanting to pressure or upset me. We both danced around the real issues, thinking we were being considerate, but all we were doing was ...
8 comments
Read more

Why I Said “Obey” in My Wedding Vows

-
Image
  When I was writing my wedding vows, I knew I wanted them to be personal, meaningful, and completely true to who we were as a couple. I had read the traditional vows countless times before — “to love, honor, and obey” — but like many modern brides, I always assumed I’d leave that last word out. It just wasn’t something you heard much anymore. Most people saw it as outdated, even offensive. But the closer we got to the wedding, the more I prayed and thought about what marriage really meant to me. I realized that for us, obey wasn’t a word of weakness. It was a word of trust. To me, saying “obey” wasn’t about losing myself — it was about choosing to follow a husband who leads with love, humility, and care. I didn’t tell anyone what I was planning. I knew some friends might roll their eyes or try to talk me out of it. Even family members, with the best intentions, might have misunderstood. So I kept that little word close to my heart, just between God and me, until the day of the cer...
4 comments
Read more

Thanksgiving Tomorrow, Preparation Triumph Today

-
Image
 Thanksgiving Tomorrow, Preparation Triumph Today By Lisa Thanksgiving break arrived like a warm sigh. My daughters and I have been home all week — no lesson plans, no school bells, no frantic weekday choreography. Just slower mornings, shared coffee, and a growing list of holiday prep that we actually had the energy to complete. For once, the calendar felt like a gift instead of a countdown. By 9 a.m. today, the house had officially become Mission Control. Today was the day we turned “we should probably…” into a tidal wave of done. Seven people are coming over tomorrow — family and friends who make holidays feel like home. With us, that’s ten total around the table, and we were determined to make the house feel as ready and welcoming as we’ve been imagining all week. And let me be honest — last Friday’s maintenance spanking from Tom clearly did what it was meant to do. Not a moment of anger or sting of shame — just a grounding, adult-to-adult reset we both agreed on when stress w...
2 comments
Read more