Spanking During The Holidays: A Reflection
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—joy, gratitude, expectations, and especially stress. As much as I love the lights, the music, and the traditions we’ve built, December can feel like a marathon with no water stations. Somewhere between hosting, shopping, church commitments, family dynamics, and the pressure to make it all “special,” my nervous system starts humming a little too loudly. Over the years, I’ve learned that pretending I can power through that stress doesn’t serve anyone—least of all our marriage.
Spanking during the holidays has become one of the ways we intentionally slow things down and reset. For us, it isn’t about punishment in a dramatic sense; it’s about stress relief and grounding. When my emotions are running high, I tend to live in my head. A spanking brings me back into my body and into the present moment. It draws a clear line between the chaos outside and the quiet, intentional space we create together.
Finding time for ourselves in December takes effort. It doesn’t happen by accident. We have to protect that time, sometimes late at night or in small windows between obligations. That choice alone communicates something important: that our connection matters as much as the parties, the gifts, and the to‑do lists. When we prioritize that space, everything else feels more manageable.
Connection is really the heart of it. The holidays can pull couples into parallel lives—dividing tasks, coordinating calendars, exchanging logistics instead of affection. Our dynamic gives us a structured way to reconnect. The conversation beforehand, the clarity of expectations, and the follow‑through afterward all reinforce that we are on the same team. I don’t feel alone in the stress; I feel held within a framework we both understand.
His need to lead becomes especially clear this time of year. When life feels crowded and loud, I actually crave his decisiveness and calm. Leadership, for us, isn’t about control for its own sake. It’s about him paying attention—to my mood, my energy, and when I’m starting to unravel. It’s about him stepping forward when I’m tempted to take on too much or let resentment simmer.
Navigating this dynamic during the holidays also means communicating well. We talk about timing, about emotional readiness, and about what support looks like in that particular week. Sometimes the spanking is firm and corrective; other times it’s gentle and reassuring. What matters is that it’s thoughtful, mutual, and rooted in care rather than impulse.
There’s also something deeply comforting about consistency. When so many routines are disrupted in December, knowing that this part of our relationship remains steady gives me a sense of safety. It reminds me that no matter how hectic things get, we still know how to come back to one another.
Afterward, I usually feel quieter inside. The edge is gone. I’m more patient with the kids, more gracious with extended family, and more present in the moments that are meant to be joyful. It’s not magic—it’s intentional connection doing what it’s supposed to do.
Spanking during the holidays isn’t about adding one more thing to an already full calendar. For us, it’s about making room—room to breathe, to reconnect, and to remember why we chose this path together. In a season focused on giving, it’s one of the ways we give back to our marriage.
Dear Lisa;
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to your article on spankings during the holidays.
My husband is very good at keeping me grounded during these hectic times. This year was particularly rough for me for various reasons. I found myself becoming overstressed and somewhat disrespectful to him. I got a warning that I needed to calm down little. Which made me feel slightly resentful. The icing on the cake came the next day when I got a speeding ticket. He was done.
I received a long and hard punishment session.
When it was over I felt relieved, destressed and grounded again. I was sorry for the way I had behaved. And felt grateful for my loving husband for bringing back peace and harmony.
We made it through the rest of the week without incident and I was able to stay calm and lean on him to keep us connected during this hectic time.
I wish you and yours a wonderful holiday.
Mary
Dear Mary,
DeleteThank you so much for sharing so honestly. I really appreciate your willingness to be open about how the holidays can amplify stress and how easily that stress can spill over into our attitudes and behavior. Your experience echoes exactly why I wanted to write that reflection in the first place.
I think many of us recognize that moment you described—when a warning stirs resentment instead of humility, and then life adds one more consequence on top of it. What stood out to me most in your reply was not the punishment itself, but the outcome: relief, grounding, repentance, and restored peace. That is such a clear picture of discipline doing what it is meant to do—bringing us back into harmony rather than leaving us stuck in tension.
I love how you framed your husband’s role as keeping you grounded and connected during a hectic season. That posture of leadership and care is a gift, especially when we’re overwhelmed and not at our best. It’s also encouraging to hear that the rest of your week was calmer and more connected because you leaned into that structure instead of resisting it.
Thank you again for writing, Mary. I wish you and your husband continued peace, closeness, and a truly blessed holiday season.
Warmly,
Lisa
I unfortunately earned myself a spanking this holiday season. I don't know if others can understand the pressure that we as wives and mothers feel at creating a perfect holiday experience for our families. My husband kept reminding me about the reason for the season, but I would brush him off to concentrate on things like extra lights to decorate the house, or baking yet another batch of cookies, or worrying about whether the children will be happy with their gifts, etc. He said over and over that we are celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior and that the two most important parts of Christmas are worship and charity. Of course he was correct in calling me out.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a wonderful Christmas and enjoyed a bounty of the Lord's blessings.
Dear Darcy,
DeleteThank you so much for sharing so honestly. I think so many of us can relate to that pressure to make everything just right—the decorations, the food, the gifts—especially as wives and mothers who care deeply about our families. It’s easy to let that weight pull our focus away, even when our husbands are gently trying to re-center us. I appreciate how you acknowledged your husband’s patience and wisdom in reminding you of the true purpose of the season. That humility speaks volumes.
I love how you summed it up so simply and beautifully: worship and charity. Those reminders often come to us in the middle of our stress, not after it has passed, and sometimes correction is exactly what brings our hearts back into alignment. I’ve found that those moments, while uncomfortable, often end up being spiritually grounding and ultimately peaceful.
I hope your Christmas was filled with grace, growth, and renewed perspective as well. Thank you again for your thoughtful reply, and may the Lord continue to bless you and your family richly in the year ahead.
-Lisa
Lisa, you've captured so beautifully the reassurance that consistent discipline offers a woman, especially in the midst of holiday chaos. It has always seemed so strange to me that something so hard to bear can bring me such inner peace, and I’m so happy to hear that you experience this benefit as well. When I am overly stressed, my emotions can overwhelm me, which inevitably leaves me short-tempered, impatient, and sharp-tongued. I struggle to manage these feelings on my own, often losing the battle with myself and showing disrespect to my husband, who was simply trying to help. It is in moments like these that I need his clear, firm leadership the most, and he never fails to deliver the sound spanking I need to get back on track. I wish that I could get past that mounting frustration on my own, but once I reach the point of hot tears and a raised voice, I depend on my husband’s strength to turn things around. Even as I lay across his lap, sobbing as he painfully reddens every inch of my aching bottom, I can feel the tension begin to leave my body. There’s no other word for it than relief. I am forced to surrender myself to him, and along with the tears, I let go of all the anger and stress that had plagued me. Yes, I am punished, but I’m also rewarded with a feeling of peace and calm that lasts for days. Holding me in his arms, my husband helps me determine whether I have taken on too much, or whether I was simply letting things get to me too much. In the aftermath of a hard spanking, it’s easier to get some perspective on the situation, and it never seems quite as bad as it did before. Disciplining me is a loving act that provides me the clarity of an emotional reset, allowing me to be the gentle wife and mother my family deserves. I’m always grateful for his help, and though I wish it wasn’t necessary, knowing that consequences are swiftly and reliably applied is deeply comforting. I love how you said it, “I feel held within a framework we both understand.” Thank you for sharing your experiences as a happily disciplined wife with us. It means so much, and I truly enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteMany blessings to you and your family this Christmas season,
Sophia
Dear Sophia,
DeleteThank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt reply. I really appreciate the care with which you described that sense of reassurance and structure that consistent discipline can bring, especially during seasons as intense as the holidays. You’re right—stress has a way of sneaking up on us, and when emotions start running the show, it can be hard to regain perspective on our own.
I want to be very honest about one thing you touched on: I truly hate being spanked. There’s nothing in me that enjoys it in the moment. And yet, I need it so much. When I’m overwhelmed, sharp, or losing my footing emotionally or spiritually, that clear correction helps reset my heart and mind in a way nothing else quite does. It helps me become a better wife, a better lover, a more patient parent, a more grounded Christian, and even a better friend. The discomfort serves a purpose—it stops the spiral and brings clarity.
I also value what you said about the conversations that come afterward. That reflection and loving leadership are just as important as the discipline itself. Being held within a framework we both understand creates safety, not fear, and peace rather than resentment. Like you, I’m grateful for a husband who is willing to step into that role with firmness and care, even when it’s difficult for both of us.
Thank you again for sharing so openly and for your kind words about my writing. May you and your family continue to be blessed with peace, clarity, and grace throughout this season and beyond.