Spanking During The Holidays: A Reflection
Spanking During The Holidays: A Reflection
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—joy, gratitude, expectations, and especially stress. As much as I love the lights, the music, and the traditions we’ve built, December can feel like a marathon with no water stations. Somewhere between hosting, shopping, church commitments, family dynamics, and the pressure to make it all “special,” my nervous system starts humming a little too loudly. Over the years, I’ve learned that pretending I can power through that stress doesn’t serve anyone—least of all our marriage.
Spanking during the holidays has become one of the ways we intentionally slow things down and reset. For us, it isn’t about punishment in a dramatic sense; it’s about stress relief and grounding. When my emotions are running high, I tend to live in my head. A spanking brings me back into my body and into the present moment. It draws a clear line between the chaos outside and the quiet, intentional space we create together.
Finding time for ourselves in December takes effort. It doesn’t happen by accident. We have to protect that time, sometimes late at night or in small windows between obligations. That choice alone communicates something important: that our connection matters as much as the parties, the gifts, and the to‑do lists. When we prioritize that space, everything else feels more manageable.
Connection is really the heart of it. The holidays can pull couples into parallel lives—dividing tasks, coordinating calendars, exchanging logistics instead of affection. Our dynamic gives us a structured way to reconnect. The conversation beforehand, the clarity of expectations, and the follow‑through afterward all reinforce that we are on the same team. I don’t feel alone in the stress; I feel held within a framework we both understand.
His need to lead becomes especially clear this time of year. When life feels crowded and loud, I actually crave his decisiveness and calm. Leadership, for us, isn’t about control for its own sake. It’s about him paying attention—to my mood, my energy, and when I’m starting to unravel. It’s about him stepping forward when I’m tempted to take on too much or let resentment simmer.
Navigating this dynamic during the holidays also means communicating well. We talk about timing, about emotional readiness, and about what support looks like in that particular week. Sometimes the spanking is firm and corrective; other times it’s gentle and reassuring. What matters is that it’s thoughtful, mutual, and rooted in care rather than impulse.
There’s also something deeply comforting about consistency. When so many routines are disrupted in December, knowing that this part of our relationship remains steady gives me a sense of safety. It reminds me that no matter how hectic things get, we still know how to come back to one another.
Afterward, I usually feel quieter inside. The edge is gone. I’m more patient with the kids, more gracious with extended family, and more present in the moments that are meant to be joyful. It’s not magic—it’s intentional connection doing what it’s supposed to do.
Spanking during the holidays isn’t about adding one more thing to an already full calendar. For us, it’s about making room—room to breathe, to reconnect, and to remember why we chose this path together. In a season focused on giving, it’s one of the ways we give back to our marriage.
Dear Lisa;
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to your article on spankings during the holidays.
My husband is very good at keeping me grounded during these hectic times. This year was particularly rough for me for various reasons. I found myself becoming overstressed and somewhat disrespectful to him. I got a warning that I needed to calm down little. Which made me feel slightly resentful. The icing on the cake came the next day when I got a speeding ticket. He was done.
I received a long and hard punishment session.
When it was over I felt relieved, destressed and grounded again. I was sorry for the way I had behaved. And felt grateful for my loving husband for bringing back peace and harmony.
We made it through the rest of the week without incident and I was able to stay calm and lean on him to keep us connected during this hectic time.
I wish you and yours a wonderful holiday.
Mary
Dear Mary,
DeleteThank you so much for sharing so honestly. I really appreciate your willingness to be open about how the holidays can amplify stress and how easily that stress can spill over into our attitudes and behavior. Your experience echoes exactly why I wanted to write that reflection in the first place.
I think many of us recognize that moment you described—when a warning stirs resentment instead of humility, and then life adds one more consequence on top of it. What stood out to me most in your reply was not the punishment itself, but the outcome: relief, grounding, repentance, and restored peace. That is such a clear picture of discipline doing what it is meant to do—bringing us back into harmony rather than leaving us stuck in tension.
I love how you framed your husband’s role as keeping you grounded and connected during a hectic season. That posture of leadership and care is a gift, especially when we’re overwhelmed and not at our best. It’s also encouraging to hear that the rest of your week was calmer and more connected because you leaned into that structure instead of resisting it.
Thank you again for writing, Mary. I wish you and your husband continued peace, closeness, and a truly blessed holiday season.
Warmly,
Lisa
I unfortunately earned myself a spanking this holiday season. I don't know if others can understand the pressure that we as wives and mothers feel at creating a perfect holiday experience for our families. My husband kept reminding me about the reason for the season, but I would brush him off to concentrate on things like extra lights to decorate the house, or baking yet another batch of cookies, or worrying about whether the children will be happy with their gifts, etc. He said over and over that we are celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior and that the two most important parts of Christmas are worship and charity. Of course he was correct in calling me out.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a wonderful Christmas and enjoyed a bounty of the Lord's blessings.
Dear Darcy,
DeleteThank you so much for sharing so honestly. I think so many of us can relate to that pressure to make everything just right—the decorations, the food, the gifts—especially as wives and mothers who care deeply about our families. It’s easy to let that weight pull our focus away, even when our husbands are gently trying to re-center us. I appreciate how you acknowledged your husband’s patience and wisdom in reminding you of the true purpose of the season. That humility speaks volumes.
I love how you summed it up so simply and beautifully: worship and charity. Those reminders often come to us in the middle of our stress, not after it has passed, and sometimes correction is exactly what brings our hearts back into alignment. I’ve found that those moments, while uncomfortable, often end up being spiritually grounding and ultimately peaceful.
I hope your Christmas was filled with grace, growth, and renewed perspective as well. Thank you again for your thoughtful reply, and may the Lord continue to bless you and your family richly in the year ahead.
-Lisa
Lisa, you've captured so beautifully the reassurance that consistent discipline offers a woman, especially in the midst of holiday chaos. It has always seemed so strange to me that something so hard to bear can bring me such inner peace, and I’m so happy to hear that you experience this benefit as well. When I am overly stressed, my emotions can overwhelm me, which inevitably leaves me short-tempered, impatient, and sharp-tongued. I struggle to manage these feelings on my own, often losing the battle with myself and showing disrespect to my husband, who was simply trying to help. It is in moments like these that I need his clear, firm leadership the most, and he never fails to deliver the sound spanking I need to get back on track. I wish that I could get past that mounting frustration on my own, but once I reach the point of hot tears and a raised voice, I depend on my husband’s strength to turn things around. Even as I lay across his lap, sobbing as he painfully reddens every inch of my aching bottom, I can feel the tension begin to leave my body. There’s no other word for it than relief. I am forced to surrender myself to him, and along with the tears, I let go of all the anger and stress that had plagued me. Yes, I am punished, but I’m also rewarded with a feeling of peace and calm that lasts for days. Holding me in his arms, my husband helps me determine whether I have taken on too much, or whether I was simply letting things get to me too much. In the aftermath of a hard spanking, it’s easier to get some perspective on the situation, and it never seems quite as bad as it did before. Disciplining me is a loving act that provides me the clarity of an emotional reset, allowing me to be the gentle wife and mother my family deserves. I’m always grateful for his help, and though I wish it wasn’t necessary, knowing that consequences are swiftly and reliably applied is deeply comforting. I love how you said it, “I feel held within a framework we both understand.” Thank you for sharing your experiences as a happily disciplined wife with us. It means so much, and I truly enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteMany blessings to you and your family this Christmas season,
Sophia
Dear Sophia,
DeleteThank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt reply. I really appreciate the care with which you described that sense of reassurance and structure that consistent discipline can bring, especially during seasons as intense as the holidays. You’re right—stress has a way of sneaking up on us, and when emotions start running the show, it can be hard to regain perspective on our own.
I want to be very honest about one thing you touched on: I truly hate being spanked. There’s nothing in me that enjoys it in the moment. And yet, I need it so much. When I’m overwhelmed, sharp, or losing my footing emotionally or spiritually, that clear correction helps reset my heart and mind in a way nothing else quite does. It helps me become a better wife, a better lover, a more patient parent, a more grounded Christian, and even a better friend. The discomfort serves a purpose—it stops the spiral and brings clarity.
I also value what you said about the conversations that come afterward. That reflection and loving leadership are just as important as the discipline itself. Being held within a framework we both understand creates safety, not fear, and peace rather than resentment. Like you, I’m grateful for a husband who is willing to step into that role with firmness and care, even when it’s difficult for both of us.
Thank you again for sharing so openly and for your kind words about my writing. May you and your family continue to be blessed with peace, clarity, and grace throughout this season and beyond.
Lisa, thank you for your honesty! It’s truly such a comfort to know that you’ve experienced so many of the same conflicting feelings that I have. There is absolutely nothing that is fun or sexy about getting spanked, and all I can concentrate on in those difficult moments is how very much I want it to be over already. It is a harsh punishment, as it was designed to be. But I deeply appreciate what spanking has done for our marriage, and I am grateful for the ways in which it has helped my husband shape me into a better wife and mother. It provides me with stability and structure, and while I don’t fully understand why this disciplinary cycle is necessary, I know that it is God’s plan for this humble wife and her husband. I try to think of it like childbirth. Scary, painful, and overwhelming at times, lasting far longer than seems necessary. But at the end, once you have rested and recovered, there is such joy and beauty! And in both cases, my husband is there, loving and supporting me through the process. These are wondrous mysteries that God expects women to accept from Him with gracious, loving hearts.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sophia
Sophia and other others., I didn’t actually know these types of relationships existed. It’s very interesting to read all your comments. I’ve read a few other blogs and the wives describe the punishments more harshly but this seems to not be the case on this blog. But for Sophia and Lisa and others what is the consent aspect of this relationship? I guess what I’m asking is if you no longer wanted corporal punishment as part of your marriage, you would be able to tell your husbands and they would stop punishing you in this manner, correct? Thank you in advance for your reply .
DeleteLisa has said before that during especially hard times they had to put a stop to it. But they're currently practicing as far as I'm aware. As for Sophia, I wouldn't be able to reply for her. But, in Christian Marriages, the husband often decides what is best for the wife, and if spanking is in the list, a wife should submit. But realistically, if she really, really, didn't want to, and had a good reason, I'm sure her husband would stop. After all, discipline cannot be carried on if the two parties aren't a 100% on it. Plus, you might be surprised that often it's women that crave discipline. Or some form of it.
DeleteSophia, thank you for sharing so honestly and thoughtfully. I appreciate the way you named the tension so clearly—that there is nothing pleasant in the moment itself, and yet there can still be deep gratitude for the fruit it bears. I think many women recognize that paradox, especially during the heightened stress of the holidays. Your comparison to childbirth is a powerful one: something difficult and humbling, endured not because it is enjoyable, but because of the good that comes afterward and the love and support that surrounds it. I’m grateful you emphasized your husband’s steady presence through it all, and your trust in God even when the “why” isn’t fully clear. That posture of humility and faith is not small, and I know it will continue to bear good fruit in your marriage and family.
DeleteThank you (Anonymous 2) for mentioned the time we stopped during several years when I had cancer. As far as (Anonymous 1) Yes. He told me before we married that at any time if I feel it is not necessary I could say no. He also told me that if I didn't think something was fair to let him know and we could talk about it. Finally he also said that he would always error on the side of not spanking me.
DeleteThis is such an interesting discussion, Lisa! To answer your question about consent, I consented to all manner of discipline when I wed my husband before God, vowing to accept his headship and to obey him in all things. I could no more revoke my consent for his discipline than I could revoke my marital vows. Spanking is the manner of discipline that I requested of my husband when we were engaged, and the one that has proven uniquely effective in changing my behavior for the better, though he has not tried other methods. There are natural consequences like the temporary revocation of privileges, but not other things I have read about.
ReplyDelete(Like you, my husband did not begin to spank until after we were wed, but he did not employ other methods of discipline in its place during our engagement. He did set rules for me and gently lectured me on some lazy habits, but in the limited time we spent together, I was able to comply. He did not become convinced of the need for discipline until several months into our marriage, when he discovered the limits of his lectures and saw first-hand the extent of my immaturity and childish behavior. His loving strength has helped to grow into the woman God meant for me to be.)
To refuse the punishments, spanking or otherwise, that my husband chose to apply would be to reject his authority over me - a blasphemous, sinful act. My husband is a kind, loving, and wise man, and were spankings ever to become less effective, or if I seemed to be suffering in some fundamental way, after the soreness had faded, I trust that he would change course. But I think that is the crux of it - I trust him. I have placed my faith in him, and placed my body and soul in his capable hands. It is not for me as his wife to decide how I will be governed or punished. I have never received punishment that wasn’t justly deserved, for breaking rules or crossing boundaries we both agreed were righteous expectations. I have never failed to benefit from the humbling lesson I received by his hand.
Sophia
(Continued, as my comment was too long)
ReplyDeleteWere it left to me to consent to each individual spanking, I would crumble. I know that I would. I am not brave when I am told I will be punished. I am fearful and full of excuses, whether I voice them to my husband or not. Fear makes me cower and beg, wanting to do anything to avoid what I have coming. In those moments, I don’t acknowledge how much accountability has helped me to grow and strengthened our marriage. Hot, defiant tears fall in a stubborn reluctance to accept blame that I now shamefully recognize in my toddler daughter. Am I not braver and more mature than our little girl? Were it left to me, I would never experience the cleansing calm of those post-spanking days and weeks.
But, through God, I have entrusted myself to my husband’s care. Though I might not consent to that spanking in the moment (were it my choice), I humbly consent to his God-given authority over my flesh. I undress, I kneel, I hand him an instrument, I lay across his lap, I assume the position I’m told. I know I cannot escape him, and that his love for me requires that he punish me to restore me by his side. To assume that my consent to each punishment, or the way in which it is delivered, is necessary is to assume I am an equal partner in our marriage. I am not. I am his wife. Equal in value, but not authority. This is the beauty of Christian marriage and male headship.
You mentioned the harshness of our punishments, and I really don’t have anything to compare it to. I know I am spanked as soundly as necessary to accomplish my husband’s objectives. It feels harsh to me, but might not be for another woman.
I’m curious about your own thoughts on consent. Because your husband employed other, less intimate, punishments before you were married, do you feel you would be able to refuse spanking in favor of these other methods? What if he refused to stop spanking you? It seems like this would be the same as any other marital dispute, in that a wife would need to respectfully and humbly submit to the will of her husband, as God intends her to.
Respectfully, I enjoy the discussion and hearing the perspectives of gracious women like you. I hope I have not offended you or anyone else by disagreeing so strongly. I respect your opinion, and I’m grateful to you for opening your heart and your home to the women who’ve gathered here.
Many blessings to you and all of the wives here,
Sophia
Sage, thank you for the care and sincerity you brought to this response. I can hear how deeply thought-through your convictions are, and I appreciate the respectful way you shared them. Conversations like this only work when women can speak honestly without fear of being dismissed, and you’ve done that graciously.
DeleteOn consent, my own understanding has continued to mature over time. Like you, I see marriage vows as a profound act of trust and surrender, not something casual or easily set aside. At the same time, I’ve come to believe that trust and consent are not static moments frozen on a wedding day, but living realities that are upheld by ongoing love, communication, and care. For me, consent is meaningful precisely because it is freely given and continuously reaffirmed within a relationship that feels safe, attentive, and responsive.
Because my husband and I experienced correction and accountability in less intimate forms before marriage, that shaped how we approached things afterward. It gave us language, boundaries, and a shared sense of what was fruitful and what was not. If something were to stop bearing good fruit—spiritually, emotionally, or relationally—I trust that my husband would listen, reflect, and adjust, just as I would be called to listen and submit with humility. That mutual attentiveness is part of how headship and care are expressed in our marriage.
I also want to say this gently: trust, as beautiful as it is, flourishes best when it is paired with the freedom to speak honestly—even about fear, reluctance, or struggle—without that being seen as rebellion. Submission, in my experience, is deepest not when my voice disappears, but when it is heard and held with love.
I truly value your contribution to this discussion. You’ve articulated your beliefs with clarity and conviction, and I don’t find them offensive, even where we differ. I’m grateful for women like you who are willing to wrestle openly with these questions and do so with humility and faith.
Many blessings to you as well,
Lisa
I'm anonymous 2. Checking on this thread again I very much like that you acknowledge a wife's duty, her submission to him, and how trust plays into that. It's also very reassuring to shine light on this topic, (especially because I have read on how you take very severe spankings), that you know, that if it ever becomes too much, or you think doesn't serve it's purpose, that you can sit down for a talk with your husband, and sort things out, sharing all your feelings.
DeleteWhile Sophia is right that outright defying a spanking would be sin, a marriage it's not merely defined by discipline, but of the love a husband and wife share, so if it doesn't serve it's initial purpose, or goes off course, it's okay to pause and restart.
Also, I'd like to add, that I'm not promoting stopping spanking or DD for frivolous reasons. I just can't imagine a sensible husband refusing a valid reason (but that also depends on what a valid reason in each marriage entails).
We must also remember, that it isn't just husband's who correct wives, but also God through His Holy word, and daily by prayer. He's the only one who can touch our hearts. This is not to say he doesn't act through a husband, but to remind that He exists outside that!
Much love to all of you ❤️
This is anonymous 1, (Linda) and I appreciate your replies. I need to think about a lot of of this, but It’s clear that not everybody practices this lifestyle because of religious reasons. Many blogs out there are secular but the couple enjoys the dynamic. Also, for example, I found one blog where the wife is the disciplinarian , and she has 2 million followers and the men fall all over themselves, hoping that their wives will spank them.
DeleteI don’t know any Christian DD sites that have 2 million followers.
I also don’t agree it’s sinful and blasphemous to discuss with your husband that you’re no longer want this lifestyle. God says to live with your wives in understanding ways, to be one flesh. I think a wife can righteously say this is not what I expected even though I agreed to it, it’s much too painful , my skin is damaged and doesn’t heal in a reasonable period of time, I’ve been diagnosed with a condition that makes this more dangerous. . Etc.
But thank you again. I shall take my leave of the blog because I’m not sure it’s something I’m able to continue to read. May the Lord bless you all and keep you safe.
I agree with Linda, and honestly I have read the bible several times. Being in charge does not mean you can beat someone. Remember Man's law is God's law as long as it does not go against God's law. And it is illegal to strike a wife. It has to be 100% consensual. If you get punished and resent it. You are not drawing close to God or your Husband.
DeleteHi, it’s Linda again and I just want to thank you very much for the comment you made to my comment.
DeleteIf I could just write for a minute where I’m coming from, back in 2013, I was talking to my dad and his best friend. They were both 90 at the time and very sharp. I miss them very much. They told me that they just knew too many women who were getting beaten by their husbands when they first married back in the 50s and 60s, till the point where they became vigilantes. They claimed they never physically harmed a man, but they threatened men in our church and community and city that they knew who were doing this to their wives , and said they were going to call the police on them if you don’t stop this. Back then if a wife called the police unless she was really visibly badly beaten they didn’t come and considered it a family matter. But if men called the police other men, they would listen. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather that day what they told me. And they told me that they thought that people split up from marriages too easily nowadays, but they were really happy that women got an education and made their own money so that they could escape abuse. Coupled with what I read on some of the other blogs , such as one that’s I know people mention here that women got corporately punished for thousands of years it just I find it a very scary perspective.
Finally, now we’re in a place where we can be autonomous individuals.
That said Lisa, I do not want to write anything negative to women such as yourself, who truly seem to have embraced this lifestyle with your husband, and you don’t feel that he takes it too far and you trust and want the dynamic. And of course I know you don’t get beaten! And that you can end the dynamic if you choose. That’s all that I ask. I just read Sage’s comment on your most recent post and I don’t blame her for being confused and worried. I can understand why a man reacts the way he does to having his naked wife close to him. I’m a PhD biologist, but it doesn’t take a PhD to know that that’s just a biological reaction and The man can let it go, and he doesn’t need to force his wife who just punished to do something she doesn’t want to do.
Lastly, it worries me that in some blogs that women and men are raising their daughters to be exactly like them. To not get a higher education, not be able to work outside the home, and only be trained to be wives and mothers. I do hope that women in discipline relationships allow their daughters to choose how they want to live their life when they’re adults.
So that’s why I’m so passionate about this topic and you’re one of the few people who will even post my comments, even though I always try to write them respectfully.
So if you do decide to post this comment, thank you again. I promise I’m not going to come on here and voice my objectives anymore. I just want people to feel safe in their marriages and I just want them to be able to say no if they need to. I’ve been married over 40 years, I have children and grandchildren. I feel blessed that God gave me such a good man and that’s what I want for all women in marriages. And you also have found such a man.
Thank you again.
Oh my gosh Linda. I approved this as soon as I saw it. I normally write this in Google Docs and make sure all is perfect before I write back. But this time I just opened the Blogger and started writing. I hope it doesn't sound to chaotic.
DeleteThere are several reasons I started the blog. 1. My near death experience changed me and I wanted to write some stuff down. (so I started my 3 blogs) 2. I wanted to create a community of like minded people. 3. With my fiction blog I wanted to create some fun with the kink. and lastly 4. I wanted open communication.
Between you and some others I have had my eyes opened to the dark side of this subject and I do not want to water down any thing.
*Domestic Violence is horrible. Today, yesterday and in the future. I looked up some facts (did not verify)
*Global Daily Statistics: Approximately 137 women are killed worldwide every day by a current or former intimate partner or family member.
*Annual Global Deaths: In 2024, an estimated 50,000 women and girls were killed by intimate partners or family members, accounting for roughly 60% of all female intentional homicide victims.
*US Statistics: In the United States, on average, three women are murdered daily by their husbands, boyfriends, or ex-partners.
Women in this country are being abused and sickens me.
As far as our children. We hide it from out kids. It is none of their business. I have written a couple of things on this platform about it. Like, "Implements hidden in plain sight" If they ever did get into the lifestyle I hope and pray they find someone like their daddy. He is an amazing man.
Please, please, please, promise me that you will continue to voice your objectives. Your voice is so much more important than the random comment, "Nice Story"
Respectfully,
Lisa.
Thank you Lisa, for your kind words. I will Continue to read your blog and provide feedback if and where I can.
DeleteAnd by the way, I do love some of your spicy stories in your fiction section😉
Linda
Linda,
DeleteOhhh thank you for continuing the feed back. Oh thanks, glad you like the spicy stories, any favorites?
BTW I am embarrassed to tell you this, but hubby does not know I have the blogs. I know he would not approve of me writing about our private life (despite not mentioning his name in any of them). He really would question my Fiction / Fantasy stories. I have open communication with him, this is one place I do not talk to him. And I must write it down and share and chat with like minded people. I feel like with him we keep private like it is a dirty little secret. I hope you don't judge so hard.
I wonder if he keeps any secrets from me. Does he have fantasies that he does not share with me? Or thinks about when we are together?
-Lisa
Lisa, good for you to have this private space for just you and your readers - I love it!
DeleteI liked those holiday stress relief stores. I am not sure about the teacher ones- I was a community college biology professor for most of my career, so a little too close to home ? 😳😅
Linda
Hey Linda, I am so glad I started this. I am glad that people have a place to be heard. Thank you for the comment. Ha ha about the teacher ones.... I always wondered what it would be like if when I was first started teaching that my mentor held me accountable through my bottom.
Delete