Love and Respect Journey 

When my husband first suggested that we go through the Love & Respect study together, I honestly thought it would simply confirm what I already believed about marriage. I figured we would read a few chapters, nod along, maybe discuss a few ideas, and move on. I thought I already understood what respect meant.

I was wrong.

Walking through Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs together turned out to be one of the most life-changing things we have done for our marriage, especially within the framework of our Domestic Discipline relationship. It helped me see things in ways I had never really considered before.

Before the study, I believed I was respectful. I didn’t yell. I wasn’t openly critical. I supported my husband in many ways. But what I learned is that respect is not only about the obvious things. Sometimes it’s the subtle actions that speak the loudest.

• A sigh.
• A tone.
• An eye roll.
• Correcting him in front of the kids.
• Questioning a decision in a way that communicated doubt rather than trust.

Those little things added up more than I realized.

The study helped me see that while I believed I was being reasonable or simply expressing myself, what he often felt was a lack of respect. And when a husband feels disrespected, it affects how he leads.

One of the most powerful realizations for me was understanding that following is not weakness. In fact, it takes real strength.

In our Domestic Discipline marriage, my husband leads and I submit to that leadership. For some people, that sounds like giving up power. But what I have discovered is that choosing to follow well actually requires humility, trust, and self-control. It is a conscious decision every day.

And something beautiful happened as I worked harder to show him respect.

I watched him grow as a leader.

When I stopped pushing, correcting, and subtly resisting, he didn’t have to fight me for the role God had given him. Instead of tension, there was cooperation. Instead of defensiveness, there was confidence.

He began to lead more clearly and more calmly. Decisions were made with thoughtfulness. Our home felt more peaceful.

And our children noticed.

That was another powerful part of this journey. Our kids are always watching. They see how we treat each other. They learn what marriage looks like by observing us every day.

When they see their father leading with strength and love, and their mother supporting and respecting that leadership, they see a united front. They see stability. They see that we are linked together, working toward the same goals for our family.

It has created a sense of security in our home that I don’t think we fully appreciated before.

I used to think respect meant agreeing most of the time and avoiding obvious criticism. Now I understand that respect is much deeper than that. It’s about trusting his leadership, honoring him with my words and attitudes, and choosing unity over winning an argument.

The truth is, my husband has always been a good man and a good leader. But when I truly began to give him the respect he needed, it gave him room to grow even more into that role.

And I learned something about myself too.

Following well isn’t about shrinking. It’s about strengthening the bond between us.

In a very real way, our marriage works best when we are connected like two parts of the same body—moving in the same direction, supporting each other, and trusting the roles we each have.

Going through Love & Respect together helped us see that more clearly than ever.

I thought I understood respect before.

Now I’m still learning what it really looks like, every single day.