Why do I get lazy?

 Why do I get lazy?

This week (actually it happened 20 March) is not one I am especially proud of, but it is one I need to be honest about. Sometimes the weeks where I struggle the most are the ones that teach me the most, and this one showed me that laziness and a small lie can turn into something much bigger if I let my guard down.

I had the whole week off, which should have been a blessing. I had time to catch up on things around the house, rest a little, and take care of the small errands that normally pile up when life is busy. Instead, I let myself get comfortable. Too comfortable. I slept in, watched more TV than I should have, and kept telling myself I would get things done later. Later kept turning into tomorrow, and tomorrow turned into the end of the week.

On Friday, hubby texted me while he was at work and asked if I could pick up his medicine from the pharmacy. I saw the text. I remember looking at my phone, thinking I should go, and then telling myself I would do it in a minute. That minute never came. I stayed on the couch, scrolling on my phone, telling myself it wasn’t a big deal and that I still had time.

A while later he texted again saying he had to leave work early, get the medicine himself, and then go pick up our son for a pickup basketball game. When that message came in, my stomach dropped. I knew right then I had messed up. Not because he was angry, but because I knew I had been lazy when I had no reason to be.

And then I made it worse.

Instead of just telling the truth, I texted back, “Sorry, I didn’t see the text.”

The moment I sent it, I felt that sinking feeling in my chest. It was such a small lie, but I knew it was a lie. I had seen the text. I had chosen not to act. Saying I didn’t see it was easier than admitting I had been lazy, but it also felt wrong the second I did it.

I couldn't take it any longer, the guilt have been building and honestly I felt horrible that i had not helped out my partner. I texted him again, "I saw it. I ignored it. I’m sorry."

When he got home, he was calm, which almost makes it harder. He told the kids to go to the movies so we could talk.

He gave me a long lecture, and honestly I needed it. He talked about responsibility, about how we rely on each other, and how when one of us drops the ball it affects the whole family. He also talked about honesty, and how even a white lie breaks trust. Hearing that hurt more than I expected, because I never want to be someone he can’t rely on.

Yes, I got a spanking, and I deserved it. Not because he was angry, but because we both know that when I get lazy or careless, a real consequence helps me reset my attitude. It is embarrassing to admit that I needed that, but it is the truth. I had no good reason for what I did. I wasn’t sick, I wasn’t overwhelmed, I was just being lazy. And then I lied to cover it. (Read about it here)

Afterward, I cooked dinner, and things were calmer, but the lesson wasn’t over. Later that evening he had me sit down with my Bible and look up a few verses.

Proverbs 20:4 — “The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing.”

That one hit hard. Laziness always feels small in the moment, but it shows up later when something needs to be done and you aren’t ready.

Proverbs 21:25 — “The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor.”

That verse made me think about how easy it is to want things to go smoothly without putting in the effort.

2 Thessalonians 3:11-12 — “For we hear that some among you walk in idleness… Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.”

That one reminded me that discipline in daily life matters, even in the small things at home.

I don’t really have a good explanation for why I was lazy or why I told that white lie. That’s the part that bothers me the most. It wasn’t rebellion, it wasn’t anger, it was just carelessness. And carelessness can hurt a marriage just as much as anything else if I let it grow.

This was not my proudest moment, but maybe writing it out will help me remember next time I feel like staying on the couch when I should get up, or when I feel tempted to tell a little lie to make myself look better.

Sometimes the hardest lessons are the ones we need the most.